Episode 8:  ”Country Leaver”—The Dandy Warhols.

“I hope when I see you that you’re still likin’ who I am
but if you don’t baby well I’ll still tell you that
I understand”

It was 2002, and I was in limbo.

M-2 (preceded in Chicago by M-1, followed later by M-3 and M-4) was an existential philosopher and avid record collector.   He sent me a mix tape and a handful of Pacific Northwest feminist comic zines via Priority Mail. So spendy! But he wanted me to get it in a hurry.  ”There’s a song on there that explicitly invites you to visit me in Portland.”

Side A was “Sensitive, not sissy.”  Side B said “B is for babymomma.”

Ninety minutes of pure listening satisfaction!  Cat Power (“Taking People”), Smog (“I Was a Stranger”), Mirah (“Telescope”).  Also, The Sea + Cake (a Chicago fave), The Softies, Lois, Dub Narcotic…I could go on and on.  The track theoretically inviting me to Portland was The Dandy Warhols’ “Country Leaver.”  Lots of songs that were already favorites and new bands I would soon love.  The second best mix tape I have had the privilege of receiving!

Almost two years earlier, Ryan and I had watched M-2’s car disappear down Armitage, as he embarked on the epic drive to his new home in Portland, Oregon.   After he turned the corner, we asked one another in unison “Why would anyone leave Chicago?  We have everything here!”

Stuff happened after that.  HUGE, LIFE-CHANGING STUFF!  Everything flipped upside down.  I was suspended in mid-air for a moment, before cruel ol’ gravity kicked in, dropping me flat on my head.  It took me a while to get back on my feet again, rubbing my head in dizzy confusion.  ”Ouch, that hurt.”

And now I was scraping together every dime I could find to fund a trip to Portland.  We called one another just to shriek “Spring Break!  Wooo hooooo!” before hanging up.  Over and over again, until eventually, I was hugging him just past security at PDX.

We had dinner at a Southern restaurant on Woodstock (The Delta Cafe—DELICIOUS!), where vegan food was plentiful and 40s of PBR were served in a champagne bucket.  I was accidentally drunk (mostly because I was too nervous to eat) when I said to him, “You know that the last person to kiss me is dead, so I’m hoping you’re going to put the moves on me when we get back to your place.”    Presto!  The Murphy bed was pulled out of the wall in lightning speed.  I was glad that I had finally bought some new underwear.

Spring Break, indeed!  It rained every day.  My feet were constantly wet.    I drank too much coffee.  We played pinball while working up large tabs at hipster bars.  It was the happiest I had felt in a long time.

We packed up the portable record player and took a trip to the coast.  The rain continued.  We drank an entire bottle of gin as we watched the sea churn from our hotel window.

“Gin gives me heartache,” I warned him.

He laughed.  ”Oh, the tales of your chronic ennui are legendary.  Everyone in Wicker Park knows you’re a not-so-secretly delicate flower.”

I was sold.

Furthermore:  I moved to Portland.  M-2 and I broke up because, well, I was “confused.”  I proceeded to have the time of my life for years, before reluctantly relocating to Philadelphia.  I still credit him for changing my life…by moving me in the direction that allowed me to grow into a better person and meet some amazing, lifelong friends.  I will always be grateful.

Moreover:  Thirteen Tales from Urban Bohemia remains one of my all-time favorite albums, even after seeing a sleepy, sweatpant-clad Courtney Taylor at the grocery store on a daily basis.  “Solid” is definitely my favorite track (it’s a good post-break up affirmation), but nothing has ever captured the reality of Portland life more than “Bohemian Like You.” Bonus points for including Cal-Sport (now Slabtown) and my friend Cyan’s old apartment building in the video!

And finally:  I will always be wooed by a good mix and/or a well-written letter.   Forget about flowers and candy.